My challenge with balance seems to be making the time for life away from work - time with family and friends, time for myself. To paraphrase the proverb - All work and no play makes Veronica a very dull girl.... and a lousy mother, a poor wife, and an absent friend. So I devise plans to spend more time with the people I love doing the things I enjoy, but when I actually start doing that, I seem to fall out of the groove with work, particularly with writing.
I start to enjoy life more and then I don't have the discipline it takes to write. When it comes time to do it, I just don't want to. My motivation is gone. Most writers will tell you that some level of discipline is critical for writing, so having none is troubling. I have some tools at my disposal and tricks I play on myself to get motivated again, and at some point - WHAM! - motivation hits and I'm a writing machine.
When this happens, I feel great! All I want to do is write and create, which means that I start doing it more, working longer hours, neglecting some of my favorite activities, not calling friends. Soon, I'm seeing my family less, and it becomes clear to me that I'm out of balance again. I got motivation back, but I lost balance.
I scramble to develop a plan to rectify the situation, and I force myself to step away from the computer even though I don't want to. I go places with my family. I call my friends again. And soon I'm right back where I was, with a lack of motivation to write.
It's very frustrating for me. I wonder why can't I keep both? Why can't I achieve a real balance in my life where I enjoy and devote time to my personal life, but still have enough time and motivation for work?
As you may have figured out, this is one of the perennial issues in my life. It's not new. I seem to keep living and reliving it. It's a merry-go-round I can't get off.
Several years ago a friend sat me down and explained to me that the vacillation between work and home in my life was completely natural. She told me to picture a real balance and observe how the trays move up and down based on the addition or subtraction of weight from either side. The only time the balance is perfectly still is when nothing is moving, and that is a temporary state.
To extend this metaphor to my life, if one tray is my work life and the other tray is my personal life, if I achieve a state of perfect balance, it means that nothing is really happening or changing with either. Neither is getting better - or worse. Nothing new is being added - no new adventures or friends or creative ideas. Nothing is being taken away - old ideas, outdated schedules, things that no longer interest me.
The quest to maintain perfect balance at all times is not only an impossible quest, but it contradicts the reality and theme of life - change.
While I never want either side of my life to be totally neglected, contentment is found in learning to be comfortable with the gentle dips and quivers of the balance. It's about learning to be comfortable with change.
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