The Funnier Side of ADHD

I was browsing through YouTube while I was supposed to be working and I found some cute and funny videos about ADHD.  Enjoy!

How Do I Know Which List I'm On?

Like most kids (regardless of age), I definitely want to be on Santa's "Nice" list. Since I was a little girl, I've been told that the kids on the nice list get the good presents and the kids on the naughty list get coal, ashes, or nothing.

I know this is true because there was a year when my older brother was on the naughty list and he only got ashes in his stocking and a note from Santa telling him he was on the naughty list. That's what happens when you get up in the middle of the night before Christmas and unwrap all of the presents that your mommy just stayed up late wrapping.


So sometimes it's easy to know which list you're on. But what if you're not sure?

Ok, I did some things that might place me on the naughty list this year.  I can admit that, but most of them were not on purpose and I was really, really sorry....and I only did some of them over and over again.

But I did lots of good things this year, too! Don't they cancel out the naughty things?  Does Santa keep a tally of good vs naughty or does he just look at the overall picture of the year and make a judgement?

And if you're placed on the naughty list, is there any chance for a last minute reprieve?  Can I call the governor or someone and plead my case?

Maybe that's why a lot of people are nicer at Christmas time (except the people at the malls) - they are trying to make up for a lot of naughtiness earlier in the year.

I've got 8 days to solidify my place on the nice list. I think I'll start by thanking all of you for reading and supporting me over the year.

Thank you!

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Discipline

I met with my staff this morning to go over all of our projects and all of  the things we need to get done, particularly over the next few weeks. As you could probably guess, it's one of those impossible lists - the kind that cannot possibly be completed, so you have to prioritize, be disciplined, and do your best.  I have two out of those three requirements locked, but the third one....uh....not so much.

I can prioritize.  I can do my best. Discipline is difficult for me. My mind wanders from task to task, each one important, and I tend to lose focus that way.  Or my attention is drawn away by something fun and wonderful that pops up during the holiday season.

It's not that I have no discipline.  I can hunker down and focus for long periods of time when I'm up against a deadline.  It's just that when there's no immediately deadline, it feels like I have all the time in the world, and ....whoops!  Quicksand.

So, here I am today, organizing my organizational tools (editorial calendars, project tracking software, etc.) for the millionth time, hoping that a little Christmas magic will blow my way this time so I can develop and keep the discipline I need to get everything done.

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Try The Grant Goddess Speaks.....

Motivation and Balance

Sometimes my life seems to be a dance between motivation and balance.  When I have one, I don't have the other, and vice versa.

My challenge with balance seems to be making the time for life away from work - time with family and friends, time for myself. To paraphrase the proverb - All work and no play makes Veronica a very dull girl.... and a lousy mother, a poor wife, and an absent friend. So I devise plans to spend more time with the people I love doing the things I enjoy, but when I actually start doing that, I seem to fall out of the groove with work, particularly with writing.

I start to enjoy life more and then I don't have the discipline it takes to write. When it comes time to do it, I just don't want to.  My motivation is gone.  Most writers will tell you that some level of discipline is critical for writing, so having none is troubling. I have some tools at my disposal and tricks I play on myself to get motivated again, and at some point - WHAM! - motivation hits and I'm a writing machine.

When this happens, I feel great! All I want to do is write and create, which means that I start doing it more, working longer hours, neglecting some of my favorite activities, not calling friends. Soon, I'm seeing my family less, and it becomes clear to me that I'm out of balance again.  I got motivation back, but I lost balance.

I scramble to develop a plan to rectify the situation, and I force myself to step away from the computer even though I don't want to. I go places with my family.  I call my friends again. And soon I'm right back where I was, with a lack of motivation to write.

It's very frustrating for me. I wonder why can't I keep both?  Why can't I achieve a real balance in my life where I enjoy and devote time to my personal life, but still have enough time and motivation for work?

As you may have figured out, this is one of the perennial issues in my life. It's not new. I seem to keep living and reliving it.  It's a merry-go-round I can't get off.

Several years ago a friend sat me down and explained to me that the vacillation between work and home in my life was completely natural. She told me to picture a real balance and observe how the trays move up and down based on the addition or subtraction of weight from either side. The only time the balance is perfectly still is when nothing is moving, and that is a temporary state.

To extend this metaphor to my life, if one tray is my work life and the other tray is my personal life, if I achieve a state of perfect balance, it means that nothing is really happening or changing with either.  Neither is getting better - or worse. Nothing new is being added - no new adventures or friends or creative ideas.  Nothing is being taken away - old ideas, outdated schedules, things that no longer interest me.

The quest to maintain perfect balance at all times is not only an impossible quest, but it contradicts the reality and theme of life - change.

While I never want either side of my life to be totally neglected, contentment is found in learning to be comfortable with the gentle dips and quivers of the balance.  It's about learning to be comfortable with change.

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Interested in learning more about grant writing?  Read The Grant Goddess Speaks.

The God Box

As were driving home from church last Sunday, my son was explaining what they did in Children's Church. Apparently, they were asked to write their problems on a sheet of paper and then put them in a box in the middle of the room.  Then they would turn all of those problems over to God and ask him to help them.

"What did you write on your paper?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied.

That surprised me. "Nothing?  Why didn't you write anything?"

"Well," he said, "I really don't have any problems."

That's how a seven year old should feel, I believe - happy, and secure, and living in a world that is full of possibilities and no problems.

I looked over at my husband and smiled.

In a world where so many children are troubled, afraid, hungry and abused, or little boy knows that he has no problems.

That's something else to add to my gratitude list.

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Writing Another Book

I have another book in the works.  I remember how excited I was when I started writing my first book, 101 Tips for Aspiring Grant Writers.  I had something to say that could help people and I was anxious to get it on paper. I learned, though, that writing the first draft was the easy part. The editing process was tedious and time consuming.  In fact, I wanted to be done with it a couple of months before I was actually done.

So, when I started writing the new book, my excitement was tempered by some reality. Do I really want to jump into a lengthy process....again? Is my topic compelling enough for me that I'll be able to persevere through the boring parts of the process? Am I ready to commit to do my best on this project from the first word I write through marketing and sales?

If the answer to all these questions isn't "yes," then I shouldn't start.

After some reflection, I decided that it's time to take on this project. In fact, it's a really good time to take on a project like this.

So I'm writing another book.

A Cape or a Veil?

I was driving by a preschool on my way to an appointment earlier this week and I noticed something that caught my attention. The children were playing outside and each had a piece of cloth that looked like it was about 3'x3'. At first glance, it looked like the kids were just running around with their cloth, but then I noticed something interesting. A little  boy had two of the corners of his cloth tied  together and he was wearing his cloth as a cape.

That made me smile.  I have two boys myself and I've seen them make capes out of blankets and pillowcases and anything else that would work.

Then I noticed a few other little boys with capes.

Then I saw some little girls who were wearing their cloths not as capes, but as veils. The broader view showed a play yard filled with superheros and princesses.

I'm sure that no one told the boys to be superheroes and told the girls to be princesses on that day, but they chose those roles nonetheless, indicating that gender stereotypes start finding their way into our brains at a very young age.

I wondered, do any of those little girls understand that they could be superheroes, too?

But would any of those little boys be a princess?

One of the benefits I have as a woman is that I can be either a superhero or a princess, and I play both roles at different times. Unfortunately, boys and men don't have the same advantage.  If any of those boys had made his cape into a veil, I'm sure the other boys would have put him in his place.  If that didn't work, the girls would take care of it by "preferring" to play with a superhero.

The truth is that men and boys are still bound by traditional stereotypes of maleness.  Sure, we all know that it's ok for men to cry now (well, sometimes), and some men (like my husband) have even taken on the homemaker role while their wives work outside the home. But doing that is not easy for men. They face a social consequence that follows them around and dictates who will be in their peer group and how they and their family are viewed in the neighborhood. I can't tell you how many times over the past 20 years someone has said that my husband should get a job, even as his own wife was at home caring for their children.

My oldest son took dance lessons for years because he loved dance.  He was the only male in his classes and the only male at the recitals. He continued until he was 13.  At that point he quit because he just couldn't take the social pressure.  He chose to fit in among the boys rather than to continue with an activity he loved (although his dance experience actually came in very handy when he played football later). My husband and I were very sad when he quit, but we understood. Many adults can't handle the social pressure they get from stepping out of traditional gender roles.  How could we possibly expect an adolescent to do it?

I'm grateful for the freedom that I have to choose to be either a superhero or a princess, but I want my boys to have the same freedom.

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