Get a Life!

Get a life!  I've heard that phrase shouted at people when the shouter wanted them to mind their own business. I don't think it's ever been applied to me (at least not to my face) except for when friends were casually encouraging me to stop working so much. It was always one of those phrases that was about other people.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I looked around one day and realized that I didn't have a life.

I had responsibilities.  I had commitments. But when someone asked me what I did for fun, I was puzzled. What a silly question, I thought. Until I tried to answer it.

I used to try to say that I didn't have time for fun.  Then I tried to say that my work was fun. It was all a cover up, though, for the fact that, indeed, I didn't have a life.

So, I took up a hobby. I started knitting again. I hadn't held knitting needles in my hands since high school. Of course, I became obsessive with my new hobby and knitted a scarf for just about everyone in my extended family for Christmas.  I knitted until it wasn't as much fun anymore. Then I added crochet, and I did that until it wasn't as much fun anymore. Then it was cross stitch, and then I did a little of all three, but it still didn't feel like I had a life (as if I would know what that feels like....).

Note to self: Getting a life is not just about getting a hobby.

I thought maybe it might have something to do with getting more active socially, so I joined a few things. I decided to join Rotary. I reactivated my interest in my local Chamber of Commerce. I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, "Wow, this woman really knows how to have fun!"

You can stop laughing at me now.  It's not my fault I never learned how to do this. I was raised by a single mom who didn't have a life, either.

I decided to go to the fair with my husband.  That would be fun, right? We went to the fair and walked through the exhibits, which I actually did enjoy..... for a while. A couple of hours later, the 100+ degree heat left me drenched in sweat and all the walking had my arthritic knees screaming out in pain.  I must have been quite a sight - sweaty, hobbling but refusing to leave early because, "Woohoo! We're having fun!"

Note to self: Too much fun like that might just kill me. Thank God the fair comes around only once a year.

Then it came to me.  Church activities.  Those can serve double duty, ya know.  I can get a life here on earth and also secure one for later.

I also thought it might be good to get my son into more activities and then I could volunteer to help. Hello, Cub Scouts.

I wouldn't be the first mother to live vicariously through her children. I started setting things in motion for those activities immediately.

Then something amazing happened. As the afternoon wore on last Friday, I started thinking about getting home. I had a needlepoint project for a friend to finish, and I told my son I'd read with him, and I couldn't wait to watch the Giants game with my husband. I had planned something different for dinner, and I was looking forward to trying out the new recipe. Hubby and I also needed to talk about schedules and Cub Scouts and church activities.

When closing time came, instead of saying good night to everyone as they passed my desk on their way out, I was saying good bye to them as I started shutting the office down. When I ran out the door I yelled back for the last person to lock up, and I happily skipped (yes, skipped!) to my car.

Why?

Because I have a life. It's not what I expected it would be, but it's a good one.

It used to be that the most exciting things going on in my life were work-related. That's not true anymore. My work is still challenging and interesting, but it's not the center of my life anymore.

What do you do to keep your life balanced?