Writing about Regrets

I came across a blog recently called My Biggest Regret Ever. Folks anonymously send in a brief description of their biggest regrets and the blogger posts them. Some of the regrets posted are simple, but most are deeply touching.  Many are heartbreaking, particularly because most of the respondents are young people.


Here are a few  recent posts:

"My biggest regret ever is pretending to be happy.  Every day I try to please people and act happy with my life.  Truth is, I’m not.  I hide behind my shyness and I regret it every day."[Female, 15]

"My biggest regret ever is living most of my childhood life filled with lies and frustration.  It took me more than 3 years to build the courage to confront my parents to tell them that I’ve been sexually abused since the age of 5 by my uncle. Honesty, I feel so relieved that I’ve gotten to talk to my parents about it, although I did tell my mom when I was drunk =/.  I still feel happy that my family loves me for who I am and that I’ve made my family more aware of what is happening in my life. Advice to everyone out there that experiences the same issue, please think about all the people that care for you and that you’re not alone." [Female, 17]

"My Biggest Regret ever is letting a boy finger me while I was in church.  I didn’t think it through and now I just feel God and my grandparents have no respect for me.  I have no respect for myself for doing something like that.  I can’t even stand walking into church anymore." [Female, 16]

"My biggest regret ever is being afraid of commitment my entire life.  I’m nearly 35, and there are few people in this world that I’ve ever felt close to.  I am letting life, and the best things it has to offer, pass me by." [Female, 34]

"My biggest regret ever is trusting you.  I trusted you and you betrayed me.  You made me feel special, but how many “special bonds” do you have?  Seriously, you are nothing but a pathetic man who’s just scared of being alone.  A cliché, that’s what you are."[Female, 18]

Each one that I read made me stop and think, and wish I could reach out to the person posting it. I hope they found a small measure of comfort in putting their secret regrets in writing, even if anonymously.

I try to live my life in such a way as to have no regrets, but I don't know if it's possible. People make mistakes.  People make choices.  Sometimes we make choices that we wish we could make again, but you can't turn back time.  All you can do is go forward from where you are and try to live fully and well.

Sure, I have some regrets. Some I can share publicly and some I can't. Some of those events have led to changes in my life that have turned out to be wonderful blessings, so I can't really regret them anymore.  It's funny how life can be like that, isn't it? Most of what we experience is temporary. Holding onto regrets just makes them last; it gives them a life far beyond what they deserve.

I prefer to try to hold onto my happy moments - the joy - more than the regrets.

If writing about your regrets anonymously helps you let go of them, by all means, write away. But then talk to someone. Learn that you are not alone.

Then let go.

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